Know Thyself.
TLDR
Too Long didn't readIdentifying a Cultural Phenomenon: Recognizing a prevailing sense of stagnation and divisiveness in society post-election, I delve into the concept of fixed versus growth mindsets, highlighting their influence on personal beliefs and relationships.
Echo Chambers and Labeling: Critiquing the tendency to label others and confine them to fixed identities, I emphasize the detrimental effects of talking only to those who agree with you and the dismissal of alternative perspectives.
Psychological Framework: Introducing Carol Dweck's theory of fixed versus growth mindsets, I explain how these worldviews shape individuals' perceptions of themselves and others, affecting personal growth and relationships.
Mindset and Experience: Exploring the connection between mindset and lived experience, I discuss how beliefs about personal potential and change influence individuals' attitudes and behaviors towards themselves and others.
Challenges of Fixed Mindset: Highlighting the challenges posed by a fixed mindset in navigating societal divisions and fostering meaningful connections, I advocate for cultivating curiosity and openness to personal growth.
Empathy and Understanding: Emphasizing the importance of empathy and understanding in bridging ideological divides, I propose engaging in dialogue and spending time with those who hold differing beliefs as a means of fostering connection and mutual understanding.
Implicit Bias and Self-Reflection: Discussing implicit bias and the importance of self-reflection in confronting personal biases, I advocate for tools such as the Implicit Project at Harvard to assess and address unconscious preferences.
Moving Beyond Judgment: Encouraging readers to move beyond judgment and engage in introspection and dialogue, I challenge assumptions about the permanence of beliefs and identities, advocating for openness to growth and change.
Personal Reflection: Inviting readers to reflect on their own beliefs and biases, I share my own journey of self-discovery and acknowledge the ongoing process of learning and growth.
Closing Call to Action: Concluding with a call to action for readers to engage in self-exploration and dialogue with others, I express optimism about the potential for personal and societal transformation through openness and empathy.
Give Me The Deets!
tell me the juicy details!In the chaos that seems to surround us after the election, there has been an unspoken feeling that permeates the air waves. I would almost describe it as a negative manifestation of faith- the belief that people are stuck the way they are- or at least the way we perceive them now. Along with this comes the validation and entitlement we feel to label other people with an absolute knowing. I am using the word “we”, because I know very few people who haven’t done this at some point in their lives.
If we always assume people are permanently stagnant and separate from us, there is no reason to have a conversation with them. We all stay stuck in our individual echo chambers, sure that we alone know the “Truth” and everyone outside is invalid, incorrect, and so completely different from us. Surely we could never empathize with them. Or if they aren’t unreachable, just too different for us ever to really interact or connect with in a meaningful way.
In psychology, this theory is called “Fixed v.s. Growth Mindset” as published by Carol Dweck (2007). You can read a wonderful synopsis of this theory by one of my favorite writers- Maria Popova at Brain Pickings. Click the button below!
To simplify the theory- if we hold the Fixed Traits worldview, we believe our IQ, character, and creative potential are unchangeable. While I learned about this in context of how hard I try in school, it has become apparent how much this belief affects our relationships, individually and as a community.
"The growth mindset comparatively, “is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts. Although people may differ in every which way — in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments — everyone can change and grow through application and experience.”
Mindset- what we believe to be true about the world directly affects our experience of it. You can learn more about how perspective affects our experience in a pretty nifty Ted Talk below:
The most resounding quote of Dweck’s (for myself) is:“Why look for friends or partners who will just shore up your self-esteem instead of ones who will also challenge you to grow? And why seek out the tried and true, instead of experiences that will stretch you?”
The challenges we are facing as a community in this moment are difficult, but I believe they are most difficult, because we believe we are perpetually unchanging- ourselves or others. We seem to be trapping one another in judgement, and it becomes difficult to communicate with people who are very different from us- let alone feel warmth or connection in their presence. We leave no room for curiosity or even the possibility that we are wrong.
If credible studies show that people who believe they can or can’t become smarter, stronger, faster, and even more emotionally intelligent- confirm their own bias; how much more could this be effecting our relationships with other people? Should we not at least test this out in our own lives? If where we are now is only a benchmark, what would be the harm in trying to do something different- or even thinking differently about our lives and our interactions with others?
If our identities and characters are ever changing, what harm could it cause to find out our own biases? More importantly, how can we check if we believe what we say we believe? When we damn ourselves and others with judgement, we are less likely to check what we believe, because we fear who we are is permanent, as we judge others for having developed their own biases and tendencies from the world around us.
The Good News: There is some very cool research happening at Harvard- called the Implicit Project. These tests allow us to assess where we have preferences in different matters. People can say they are not racist or sexist- but after taking these tests- they might realize they do have tendencies to feel disproportionately favorable about a certain race, gender, and the like. The tests can be accessed here: https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/faqs.html
What I don’t hear people talking about is how people become racist, sexist, or homophobic. I do see people being labeled, “cancelled”, and publicly shamed. Worse, I see name calling and people degrading one another, because we do not agree. We act like these preferences are unchangeable, or that they were not learned through culture and living in the world, absorbing news, and books, etc.
What if we did not hate other people because they are different? What if we stayed longer- spent more time with people who do not believe what we believe. What if instead of calling people names online or immediately writing people off, we had zoom coffee breaks with them? (I want to be clear, I am never suggesting we impose on others who do not want our company or attempt to spend time with someone who is hateful/abusive in any way.) What we could use now is a slowness to anger and the openness to consider the idea that this challenge is okay. Where we are now is okay, because it is only a benchmark.
Each of us has a duty to ourselves- to know if what we believe about ourselves is actually “True”. The only way to know is to check. And from there- if we don’t like what we see, if what we see does not match with who we want to be, we can change.
So, who are you? How curious are you about your own world view? How many biases do you think you have or don’t have? I will tell you I thought I would not have many or any very strong biases, but I was wrong. The more we learn about ourselves and others, the more we can begin to empathize, even if we do not agree! Do you think you will be able to withhold judgement long enough to connect with someone you disagree with?
I look forward to interacting with you- especially if you happen to have a very different world view then my own. It is only in knowing that we can love other people. It is only in knowing ourselves that we can learn to love ourselves and more importantly- live a life that we believe to be meaningful. I look forward to discussing with you all what you think about fixed and malleable trait worldviews.
See You Soon,
Astrid <3
