TLDR

(too long, didn’t read)

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  Exploring Ethnocentrism and Identity: Delving into the intricacies of personal identity and ethnocentrism, I contemplate the tendency to view our own way of living as inherently good, reflecting on the discomfort of identity crises and the importance of defining ourselves in relation to our community and cultural norms.

• Challenges of Fixed Identities: Reflecting on the dangers of rigid self-identification and the fear of otherness, I discuss the impact of cultural and individual identity on our perceptions of truth and the world, highlighting the trade-off between comfort and the search for truth.

• Cultivating Openness and Respect: Pondering ways to break down personal and cultural biases, I advocate for cultivating openness, compassion, and respect in our interactions, emphasizing the importance of suspending beliefs and embracing uncertainty in the pursuit of understanding.

• Introspective Questions for Self-Reflection: Encouraging introspection, I pose questions to the reader regarding their emotional states, biases, and openness to different perspectives, inviting them to consider the value of humility and openness in personal growth and connection with others.

• Embracing Discomfort for Growth: Concluding with a call to action, I challenge the reader to embrace discomfort as a catalyst for personal growth and understanding, urging them to dismantle the barriers of arrogance and self-importance in favor of shared truth and connection.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about Ethnocentrism lately-”the attitude that one's own group, ethnicity, or nationality is superior to others” (Merriam Webster, 2021)

It is normal to some degree to see your way of living as good. People don’t want to believe they are bad or wrong, and so it is convenient to assume we are correct in thought and action. An understated aspect of ethnocentrism is cultural and individual identity. “A well-developed identity is comprised of goals, values, and beliefs to which a person is committed.” (Lumen, 2021) More, if a person is in an identity crisis, there is a level of understandable discomfort. These are moments in our lives where we question what makes us happy, who we want to be, and what matters most in life. In developing our identities, we naturally look at ourselves, our community, and those that are different from us. In creating identity, whether taught by our community or by assuming we are “correct” for doing X or believing Y. This makes us feel like we know who we are and why we do what we do, which is good at some level, right? A well developed identity in an individual shows in confidence, self esteem, and life satisfaction. A well developed sense of identity in community shows itself in mutual support of members, a shared mission, and collective action- i.e. working together to complete a goal. While Identity Theory is often mentioned when speaking of children, identity is a life long journey. Identity is not a permanent or fixed idea. It is ever changing, although it may not feel comfortable to think of it as such.

Humans also like to think they are logical. We deliberate about our beliefs and then act accordingly. When other people do things differently, this can be exciting and new, or it can be scary and confronting. If we have not explored options enough and autonomously decided who we want to be, meeting new people and becoming exposed to new ways of being can throw us into crisis, scaring us and making us condemn others as wrong or evil. On the other hand, if we are balanced and self confident in our choice of who to be, we can view very different peoples and cultures with a sense of awe, intrigue, and excitement. For example, think of a place you want to travel, a language you think is beautiful, or a food you’d like to eat that is culturally different from your own. Or maybe you don’t like to travel because you don’t like new places, not knowing the language, or foods with different spices, textures, and flavors. Fear of otherness can also exist within cultures and in smaller ways. For example, two different political groups, sects of religion, or even different races in the same country. It amazes me how we can emphasize our differences when we are truly so similar.

One of my favorite lectures surrounding personal identity and who we choose to be:

“This is Water” by David Foster Wallace. Do yourself a solid and give it a listen.

In wanting to feel sure about life, there is a sacrifice. We individually and together collectively trade comfort for truth. It is comfortable to feel like we know who we are, who other people are, and how the world is. When we make these assumptions, we lose the search for truth, because we are convinced we’ve already found it. So often in my day to day life, listening to/having conversations, watching the news, and generally existing- I see and hear people talking but not really listening. Listening is not having an opinion about what someone is sharing with you before they have even finished a sentence. It isn’t thinking about if the speaker is right or wrong, if you agree or disagree, or creating meaning that is not meant or even alluded to. The list could go on and on. True listening comes with no assumed meaning, but with openness and compassion.

Culture Wars are rooted in Ethnocentrism, the belief that your way of doing things is the only just and moral way, and that there is no other way that it can be done. When we make ourselves right, we make everyone else wrong. Today I am pondering ways to break down my personally self-righteous and culturally ethnocentric ways, because when I think of how little I know with absolute certainty, I can see that it is unreasonable to assume I am right most of the time. I can also see very clearly our country and our world is struggling to coexist in harmony. Our personal relationships suffer, our connection to community is broken, and the search for Truth is halted. Ultimately, we are the source of our own suffering. We complain and dismay about how the world is so at odds with itself, and we feel the disconnect, but continue to demonize others and blame everyone else.

My goal today is to catch an idea on fire: the idea of RESPECT. I live my life the way I like it- the way I feel personally morally compelled AND I know that the life I live is just for me. I can’t tell anyone else what is right for them. I can listen to others and discuss what I believe to be true in my own life. I can search for truth by not maintaining I am right and everyone else is wrong. I can suspend my beliefs, values, and norms in a moment of searching for truth and with the motive of respect.

Dear reader, I have some introspective questions I’d like you to ask yourself: 

1. How much time everyday do you spend angry, sad, or afraid? 

2. Of that time, what is the cause? Can you see yourself making other people/the world wrong?

3. Would you like to be happier and more connected to friends, family, and even strangers?

4. How often do you wonder if you are wrong? How often do you suspend the belief that what you know is the absolute Truth? Does the idea of not knowing scare you?

5. Realistically in your own life, in the very few years we actually have to live, how sure are you that your singular view is better and more true than the billions of people that have ever existed in time.

Can you see where this is going? When I think of the world now, I see the Tower of Babble. Even when we speak the same language, our meaning and understanding of one another is lost by our arrogance and self-importance. I am including myself here. It leaves me longing to find ways to dismantle the tower.

Today we have a choice in who to be, how we see ourselves and others, and the world. While it might be uncomfortable to practice the idea that we are not “right”, would being a little uncomfortable be worth gaining a better understanding of ourselves and others? Would losing ourselves for a moment be worth finding something closer to a Truth that we could share with others?

XOXO,

Astrid